you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
