i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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