Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
