8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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