I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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