Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize