Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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