i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
