is your mom at the bar?
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
