tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
