his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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