why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
