I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize