I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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