Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
We named our party play list daddy issues
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I know her cup size but not her name....
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
