Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
