So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
