It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
