Christians are straight up FREAKS
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
