just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
