Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
