I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
