A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
