I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
