theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
