can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
