Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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