you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Even my vagina gasped.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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