White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
