Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
