But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
