our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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