Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Randomize