you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
