she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
