I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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