How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
