Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
