All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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