awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
