I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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