I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
