I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
