Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
