found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
