The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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