He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
