i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize