you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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