is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
