Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
