just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Randomize
