he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize