fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
