i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
