I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
