I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
