My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
