Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize