Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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